


Wash Away the Pain

by iloveyourscratchybeard



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Episode: s07e10 Sein Und Zeit, F/M, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, MSR, Missing Scene, My First Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 13:44:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16476671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveyourscratchybeard/pseuds/iloveyourscratchybeard
Summary: "Sein Und Zeit" first time sex. Originally posted as two stories on my tumblr account @iloveurscratchybeard inspired by a gif set of Mulder from the episode. Also my first fanfic.





	Wash Away the Pain

She held him all night, trying to wash away his guilt and his sadness and his demons. He clutched onto her with eager and needy hands. She let him. It wasn’t her first time in his bed, but it was the first time they shared a bed with this much touching. He needed the comfort, this broken shell of a man who had never truly been loved before. Not by his mother, whom he was grieving for tonight. Certainly not by his father. Not by any of the women from his past. Nobody has ever seen past his veil of quirky satire and conspiracy theories. Seen the vulnerability at his core that he only opens up to one person. 

They speak no words. Words have never been necessary for them. They can speak novels to each other through their eyes. He knows her soul in a way that she’s never allowed anyone before. They are both so beautifully broken in this torment that only the other understands. 

They lie side by side, face to face, on the bed. Tears of frustration run down his face as she gently shushes him, pushing his hair back from his forehead and running her nails lightly through his scalp, over and over. It feels good. It’s calming him, making goosebumps rise over his skin. He needs more contact. He leans in and she opens up her arms to him without hesitation. He burrows his face into her neck, his lips brushing against the thrumming of her pulse. Her hand is still entwined in his hair and she clutches his scalp just a little tighter at the sensation of his lips on her delicate skin. It’s involuntary- she is pushing his face against her just a little without realizing it. His arm comes around to her back and he crushes her body into his. He needs all of her. He needs her all around him and wrapped around his every nerve ending. He needs to breathe her in, to take her in, to never feel alone in his dark quest they share. 

He kisses her pulse again. He feels it quicken. Again lower. Her collarbone, strong and prominent against the porcelain of her skin. Lower. He nuzzles his nose into the v of her soft blue button up. He presses his cheek against her right breast. He breathes deeply. His tears have stopped. He feels peace. He feels loved and cared for. Her hands won’t stop their exploration. They run back and forth through his scalp and down his neck and across his strong shoulder blades. She needs him just as badly as he needs her. They have both been through so much, lost so much. There are still so many unanswered questions, but tonight…just tonight….she wants to shut down her scientific processing of information and the rigid set of rules that she has made up for herself and just feel. Slowly he raises his head from her breast and she sees the dark pools of his eyes. She brings her hand up from his shoulder and runs her fingers along the stubble of his jaw, down to that beautiful bottom lip. Her fingers rest there. He kisses the tips of her fingers, eyes never leaving hers. Asking a question. He drags his body up hers until they are face to face again, his body making a bridge over hers. Her fingers have not left his mouth. The sadness in his eyes has been replaced with desire. She feels that same heat churning in her belly, spreading down lower. She’s never wanted anyone in the way that she wants Fox Mulder. She feels rebellious and dangerous tonight. She feels bold as she licks her lips and drops her eyes to gaze upon his. They’ve shared kisses before, New Year’s in that hospital, and on the pier in California over ice cream cones while they were both giddy off magic and headless magicians. But they’ve been chaste. Friendly. This was going to be very different. Dana Scully could feel it as she brought her other hand up to the base of his neck and pulled him into her.

 

_

 

It was seven years of pent up frustration and tension…late nights in the cramped quarters of a Ford Taurus on stakeouts, stolen glances over the cold metal filing cabinets of the basement, searching- always searching, and coming up empty-handed. Sometimes he wonders what he is even searching for anymore. So much has been lost. He’s been knocked down and beaten so many times he’s lost count. His mother is dead. He failed to save yet another person in his family. His sister - taken on his watch - right in front of him and he was unable to do anything about it. His father- murdered 20 feet away while he was in the house with him. His mother had called and said she needed to speak with him. He should have called her back. He could have stopped her. Why did he cast her aside?  
  
He pushes those thoughts out of his mind. He can’t think about that, about the case, about Amber-Lynn, about all that is broken in this world. He has to focus on what he has left. Scully. Scully-Scully-Scully-Scully. It becomes a mantra to keep himself from losing it. Scully is here. Scully is alive. She is more than alive, he thinks, as her heart pounds thunderously against his ear. His delicate kisses and his cheek to her chest is having an effect on her in more ways than he has ever witnessed before. She is just trying to soothe him, lightly scratching his head and his back, but he can feel the energy in the air. It radiates off of every cell in his body as he touches her, as she touches him. It’s like static electricity that they both try to ignore because it’s not the right time to be feeling these feelings. But he is so tired of being so lost, so alone, and so broken and she’s here. She is tethering him to this world and she is alive and she is here. She’s the last thing that hasn’t been taken from him and he just wants to climb inside of her and take residence and never let go.  
  
He raises his head to look at her face… so beautiful with the slivers of moonlight draping over her cheeks and glittering off of her skin. He sees what he is feeling for her reflected back in her eyes. The desire that is insurmountable. Her fingers dance along his jaw, drawing a line directly to his lips. A question. She doesn’t know if this is the right time. She is asking for permission in the way they often do. He kisses the pads of her fingertips in silent reply. I want you. I want to feel good and I want to know that I am alive. The air is crackling. There is something in her face he has not seen before. Before he even has time to respond, her hand is on the back of his neck and her lips are opening to him in invitation.  
  
His tongue seeks hers immediately, along the insides of her lips, and he swears he’s never tasted anything so good. It’s deep and it’s fiery and he has never wanted anybody so badly in his entire life. He lowers himself more fully over her, letting her feel his body’s response to her lips. He is painfully hard and he just wants to be inside her, but he wants to taste all of her first. He breaks their kiss and brings his mouth over to her earlobe, gently biting and sucking there and in random spots down her neck. Marking her. His fingers work the buttons on her blouse, one by one, as his tongue travels a path down her chest and to the silk of her bra. Her hold on his head is fierce now, urging him on. He no longer has the patience to try to work her shirt completely off so he can unclasp her bra so he grabs a cup of silk in each hand and yanks it down, freeing her perky nipples to the brisk air in the room. He takes them into his mouth, one at a time, back and forth, swirling his tongue around them and lightly sucking. Scully is making these whimpering sounds that he has only heard from the best of his dreams, and it encourages him on. He continues his worship of her body down to her waistband and then pulls off her black trousers in a swift motion. Her panties match the silk of her bra and he runs his tongue gently in a line down her center, tasting where she has already soaked through the delicate fabric with her arousal.  
  
“Mul-der,” she whimpers, pulling his face to look up at her. He has to blink a few times to focus on her face. He feels light-headed and disoriented like he has woken from a dream. All of the waiting. All of the build up. And tonight he will know what it means to make love to Dana Scully.  
  
She starts to pull up from underneath him, and he has a moment of panic. ‘She’s changed her mind. God, she was just trying to comfort me and I completely misread her.’ He starts to apologize when she sits up, Indian-style, pushing her shirt off of her shoulders and reaching around her back to release her bra. ‘Jesus Christ,’ he thinks to himself. She is an absolute vision, sitting on his bed in the moonlight, wearing nothing but little silk panties. She motions for him to join her in a sitting position, propping him up against the headboard, and then she takes her turn in carefully undressing him, peppering kisses along his chest. He lifts his hips as she slides his boxers off and arches her eyebrow in appreciation. He smiles and pulls her onto his lap, hugging her tightly. He knows he shouldn’t feel so emotional about this, but God- how he loves this woman. At a time when he felt so broken and worthless, and there she is, stitching him back together and infusing him with hope for the future. 

He brings his hands up to cup her cheeks and kisses her with all that he has. When he finally breaks the kiss, he presses his forehead to hers. “You sure?” he asks. She answers by pulling back slightly with a coy smile. She lifts onto her knees and slides her panties down her thighs, raising one knee at a time to get them completely off. She tosses them onto his nightstand, a memento for him to keep, and then she reaches down and guides him to her entrance. Slowly, slowly she lowers herself down onto him, biting her lower lip and never breaking eye contact with him. A lifetime of videos, and he’s never seen anything more erotic than this. When she’s all the way down they take a moment to adjust to this new sensation. She is so small, and yet, here they are, and they fit together so perfectly. A UFO could hover outside his window right now and he wouldn’t even care, he thinks. And then she is rising back up, her breasts in his face, and then lowering back down, again and again. He grabs a hold of her ass like it is a lifeline and helps lift her up, and then pushes her back down over every inch of him. It’s all just too much and he knows he isn’t going to last long if they keep going at this rate.  
  
In one swift movement, he picks her up and lowers her onto her side on the bed, facing away from him. For a moment she looks confused, but then he slides his body up tight against her back and they are together as they have been many times before, sans clothes. He wraps his arm around her waist and gives it a little squeeze.  
  
“I have an unholy confession to make,” Scully whispers.    
  
“Oh-hoo…do tell, Ms. Scully.” Mulder teases.

“I may have fantasized about this position once or twice while you were laying behind me.”

“Really?” The thought of Scully fantasizing about him intrigues him, and even though he thought it wasn’t possible, turns him on even more.

“In your fantasy, do I do this?” He takes his dick in his hand and slides it up and along the curves of her ass.  
  
“Mmm…hmmm…” Scully starts and then a gasp as he finds the right spot and pushes up and all the way inside her.  
  
“And then what do I do?” He breathes seductively against her ear.

She reaches back for his hand and brings it around to her stomach and interlaces her fingers with his. Then she slowly guides their joint hands to where he is slipping in and out of her. 'God, she’s trying to kill me’, he thinks, as he feels her wetness coating his dick as he slides out, and then a gush as they guide it back into her.  
  
“And I thought you were a good Catholic girl,” Mulder jokes.

Scully turns her head back and captures his mouth, plunging her tongue in as deep as possible and then biting his lower lip before saying, “Oh, I’m a _very_ good girl.”  
  
He brings their joint hands up to her clit and starts a torturous circle, pumping her in earnest now. He is kissing her everywhere he can reach, her shoulder blades and up to her earlobes, and then back around to her neck. She’s losing control fast, panting and moaning and pushing her back up against his chest. He brings his leg around hers to hold her more firmly against himself and circles her clit a little faster. “Jesus, Mulder!” in a tone that is just a bit different than he is used to hearing. It’s enough to send him over the edge, when he feels her whole body tense, and then she’s coming, and squealing, and he is following right behind her, mouth on the back of her neck, arms wrapped tightly around her.  
  
It takes several moments for the blood to return to his head. He feels buzzed and more satisfied than he can ever recall.  
  
“Wow,” Scully finally manages.  
  
“I don’t know that that adequately covers it, but…yea. Did that meet the expectations of your fantasy?”

“Met and exceeded, Agent Mulder.”  
  
He smiles against the back of her neck and plants another kiss there. “Thank you. I know this is definitely not how either one of us saw this night ending up, but I’m glad it did.”

“Me, too.” She turns in his arms so that she is facing him and plants a single kiss on his lips. “I’m so sorry about your mother, Mulder. But whatever you need, I’m here. You aren’t alone in this.”

“I think I can get used to that concept. Stay with me tonight?”  
  
“Mmm, I’d like that,” Scully murmurs.  
  
She’s there all night, nuzzled up against his chest in one of his soft gray t-shirts. When the bad dreams swoop in, she’s there - stroking her hand gently over his cheek and reminding him. Assuring him that everything will be okay with a gentle kiss. He instantly relaxes in her presence, and for the first time in awhile, he’s able to make it the whole night asleep in his bed without transferring to the couch to drown out his nighttime demons with infomercials.

In the morning, Scully quickly dresses back into her wrinkled clothes as Skinner knocks on the door. They knew they couldn’t hide away in their own little world forever. There were still things that needed to be faced. But this time, at least, Mulder felt a peace that there was light at the end of the tunnel. He would find the closure he so desperately longed for.


End file.
